Help Envision Whirled Peas

By never forgetting who prefers Marmite and who prefers Vegemite.

There are two food items I grew to enjoy while living around the world that I never knew about when I was a kid.

The first is Milo, a malty, chocolatey powder that is mixed with milk (probably any kind: cow, goat, horse, camel, hamster, oat, soybean, or almond) to make a delicious, refreshing beverage that, according to the picture on the green label, will turn any regular person into a Pele' or Meghan Rapinoe level futbol player.

Strangely, Milo seems taste different from country to country, at least according to me. In some countries, it tastes sweeter and in others, it tastes more robust. It is easy to find in almost every country that uses the metric measuring system, and in the one or two that drive their cars on the correct side of the road but still post their road speed limits in furlongs per fortnight, Amazon sells it.

The second product is Marmite, a salty tar-like foodish substance that contains the same addictive ingredient that is used in Nacho Flavoured Doritos, although the addiction threshold for Marmite is much higher than for Doritos. At some point in my early twenties, I reached that threshold of addiction. I really like the stuff and never need to share it with anyone I know because when I offer it to them, they run away while screaming “the horror, the horror.”

But there is another product that one might think is similar to Marmite, called Vegamite, which is far and away the favorite salty, tar-like foodish substance in Australia. So much so that I believe I once heard that wars were fought over which one is best.

Not long ago, I mentioned Marmite to my resident Oz subscriber, Caz, and was soundly thrashed for my ignorance. This short article is my way of making peace with my friend Caz on the subject of Marmite vs Vegemite. It seems folks from Oz run away while screaming “the horror, the horror” at the mere mention of Marmite. I actually knew the correct answer, but in my dotage I forgot. So in the interest of global harmony and whirled peas, I want you, Caz, to know that I decided to officially carry Vegamite with me on the trail and will give it its own category. Not a main course or a snack or a condiment, but as the Food Item I Carry That Is Least Likely to be Stolen or Borrowed.

Caz, I hope you accept my sincere apologies for improperly assigning to your kind and gracious people the incorrect, salty, tar-like foodish substance. I thank you in advance.