Long ago, you posted a story about how your father berated you becaue you "wasted" your work years by doing humanitarian work at low wages instead of going into something that would enrich you economically. I could feel your pain through that post. It is the bane of many struggling to find the balance between making parents proud and doing what you love. Your daughter is right to think of you as a hero by changing the course with your own life. You've lived an incredibly courageous life, not only risking physical being in dangerous places, but resetting the trajectory with your life choices. Congratulations, Dad, you've also set an awesome example for your own children. Happy Father's Da.
He was a Korean War vet, so I give him a lot of slack because of what he experienced, but it is still painful. Daddy issues, I believe they are called, but there was no way I wanted to impose that on my kids.
The dichotomy was I attended church from infancy and absorbed the importance of caring about the needs of others, especially the world’s poorest. I never expected for my choice of a career to become a point of controversy with my father. Why should it? But it was.
It would be the same if I berated my son for living in Canada? I can’t imagine how that should be any of my business and especially when we lived all over the world when during his kidhood.
I suspect your father is of the Greatest Generation which after living through the Depression and WWII wanted to gain affluence and safety. I'm learning lately that was a huge deal for our parents. (I'm also assuming you're a boomer.) It was all about getting the house, two-car garage, etc. What the hell are you doing grubbing around in Africa. My family thought I was nuts going to Israel, especially since I couldn't really explain my obsession. Oh well. You're a good man. Don't ever regret it.
Thank you, Emma, for the kind affirmation, and this week, I learned how all that effort to break the cycle of generational trauma came back to me this in a great joyful, unexpected tsunami of love from my kids.
When I mentioned the effort to consciously break the cycle of generational trauma, in hindsight, the effort was minuscule compared to the rewards of love, understanding, empathy and companionship I receive from my own children.
Long ago, you posted a story about how your father berated you becaue you "wasted" your work years by doing humanitarian work at low wages instead of going into something that would enrich you economically. I could feel your pain through that post. It is the bane of many struggling to find the balance between making parents proud and doing what you love. Your daughter is right to think of you as a hero by changing the course with your own life. You've lived an incredibly courageous life, not only risking physical being in dangerous places, but resetting the trajectory with your life choices. Congratulations, Dad, you've also set an awesome example for your own children. Happy Father's Da.
He was a Korean War vet, so I give him a lot of slack because of what he experienced, but it is still painful. Daddy issues, I believe they are called, but there was no way I wanted to impose that on my kids.
You are very kind, Sue.
The dichotomy was I attended church from infancy and absorbed the importance of caring about the needs of others, especially the world’s poorest. I never expected for my choice of a career to become a point of controversy with my father. Why should it? But it was.
It would be the same if I berated my son for living in Canada? I can’t imagine how that should be any of my business and especially when we lived all over the world when during his kidhood.
I suspect your father is of the Greatest Generation which after living through the Depression and WWII wanted to gain affluence and safety. I'm learning lately that was a huge deal for our parents. (I'm also assuming you're a boomer.) It was all about getting the house, two-car garage, etc. What the hell are you doing grubbing around in Africa. My family thought I was nuts going to Israel, especially since I couldn't really explain my obsession. Oh well. You're a good man. Don't ever regret it.
Be present in your child's life, dad. At least that.
Wow. What a tender, poignant poem. Thanks for sharing it, Switter.
She’s a good’un!
How beautiful. Thank you for being a father who broke the cycle so that your daughter can send you such a beautiful poem - and mean it.
Thank you, Emma, for the kind affirmation, and this week, I learned how all that effort to break the cycle of generational trauma came back to me this in a great joyful, unexpected tsunami of love from my kids.
When I mentioned the effort to consciously break the cycle of generational trauma, in hindsight, the effort was minuscule compared to the rewards of love, understanding, empathy and companionship I receive from my own children.
That's incredible. Glad you've had such joy from your kids!
Beautiful and so true.
spot on.